Once, in a commuter. Sitting on the seat, noticed a lady entered the commuter upon arrival at a station. Back facing, she looks hot. Thoughts flew in…
Thought: Hey lady, can you please sit beside me?
As she turn around in my direction to take her seat…
Thought: Oh lady, please don’t sit beside me….
I must admit. I have seen one of the most fascinating event made a group of human beings. Today is the first race of the Formula 1 2009 season. We all know Formula 1 is the pinnacle of motorsport. Everyone competing in F1 are either the fittest athletes, brainiest engineers and the smartest constructors. (though not smarter than me.)
Throughout the years there had been plenty of drama, especially for the pass 3 years. We have seen how friendship cum team mate of one team broken down to become one of the worst enemies of modern time in motorsports. We have seen the largest aftermath of an espionage involving two of the best F1 teams in the world. That resulted in McLaren handling 500million Euros to the FIA as punishment, which escalated the rivalry between Lewis and Fernando. We had seen, too how what seemed to be an achievable task yet fortune fools them away from it.
But nothing is as brilliant as today in the Australian Grand Prix 2009.
More than a month ago, Honda announced a shocking news that they’ve decided to leave Formula 1 thoroughly and no longer involve in F1. That leaves the England based team without an owner, without financial backing, without an engine supplier and had no chance to test their cars. Their situation had gone from bad to worse.
Not scoring any point during the 2008 season was already bad enough. Then came along Honda’s exit, the drivers were at the brink of announcing their early retirement. The English team of nearly 700 employees were about to loose their jobs. All these during the economic crisis. How worse could it get.
4 weeks ago, just
A week later, they unveiled their new car, white with yellow stripes powered by a Mercedes engine. Despite the financial crunch and the lack of testing, they topped the time sheets during the first official test session organized by FIA. The same sheet-topping timings were obtained in the second test session a week later.
That was astonishing feat. Not long ago they were at the brink of dismembering. Suddenly, they became the largest threat in the toughest motorsport league. There was light at the end of tunnel for them.
Saturday at about 4pm Australian time, the qualifying session was dominated by the Brawn GP cars. Jenson Button and Rubens Barrichello were placed 1st and 2nd of the grid. That alone had sent chills to the opponents and delight to its owner and new found sponsor, Virgin Group. Virgin Group has just signed the deal a night before the qualifying session.
Today, the race was expected to be intense. The two Brawn GP at the front are expected to seize this opportunity to carve out the first win for the team.
2 hours later, everyone at Brawn GP celebrated their first 1-2 victory in their lives. 4 weeks ago, all their plans had been put on hold due to the exit of their owner, Honda. The future seemed pitch black for everyone in the team. It seemed as to be a hopeless future.
Today, it was a maiden victory. A classic story of a team that risen from the ashes. Of what seemed to be a bleak future, they carved themselves a future of fortune.
This event touched me a little. A series of unfortunate events had made them stronger and thanks to Ross Brawn, they have find their long lost fortune. I must say this is the best show on earth. Even reality shows such as American Idol, Big Brother and not even Amazing Race can match this symbolic event.
The true grit and faith made me think and realize that what I saw this afternoon is what is known as the human will power, the spirit of ‘never say die’.
Absolutely brilliant.
A: Can i hit you in the head?
B: NO…
A: You said yes…i’m gonna hit you!
B: NO!! I said NO!
A: You said YES.
B: I said NO!
A: you said YES.
B: I’VE SAID NO~~~~!! Do you know how to spell N, O, NO! Do you know how to say ‘NO’?! Do you know how to listen ‘NO’!!!
A:………no
This seems to be black colour. But it’s NOT. The truth behind this ‘black’ colour is actually WHITE colour. Try take a light and shine on it. It will show it’s true colour, WHITE.
So, colours can lie. You need to investigate the true colour behind the colour.
To relate this case, black people are actually white people. The Africans and Indians are not black people. They are actually white people. We cannot call them black people because when they are under the sun shine or being shine by light, you can see traces of white.
On the other hand, white people, which is the more dominant race, aren’t white people. They are actually black people. We cannot call them white people because when there is no light, they are thoroughly black. So, we should call them black people instead.
I am smarter than an apple. Therefore i am the smartest man on the flat surface of the earth.
There have been people asking me about my obsession with Sex. So many of my posts are touching the Sex topic. Why? Are you guys still very taboo with it? Or is it a very powerful activity that strikes the conscience of you readers of an apple brain? An attention grabber for the lay-apple-men sake you may realize.
You see, I am not obsessed with sex. I’m not a maniac. Sex is boring. However, after been through so much study and observation, i realize that sex is an ‘obsession’ with you readers, ‘MANIAC’. I realized that the sex topic is a very powerful, too.
Let’s take Malaysian politicians for instance. We pay the taxes for politicians to address and discuss about our problems in the Parliament. Instead, all we heard on Live telecast was loads of sex themed words. You can hear words like ‘bocor’ or ‘leaking’ and other sexist remarks that would come out from their sorry wise looking cunt faces. Those are the words that would strike the intensity and up the heat.
Now, we look at other instances. FUCK YOU. A very revoking word. You could feel the insult of the word. The word fuck should be replaced with ‘intercourse’ as i have mentioned in this post. It’s a very beautiful word It can be used in many ways and it doesn’t matter in what way it is being used, it will have its profound effect to the listener. Now I’m ‘complimenting’ you, you are INTERCOURSINGLY UGLY.
You see, Sex is a very attractive and powerful message carrier. People can use it to carry out their messages with upmost effect. For example, I want to say that you are an idiot. I would say you are a dickhead. Calling you an idiot, you can chose to ignore it thoroughly. But calling you a dickhead, you can somehow feel your guts kicking, eager to fuck me up and tie me up on my bed so that you can drip some hot wax all over. I won’t get horny with that. But please, i’m not a gay.
On top of that, Sex is very interesting. Who won’t have the urge to know about, try it, and indulge into Sex? When you eavesdrop at your colleagues talking about the girls that they intercourse with, you will have the urge to know about and indulge into the fantasies no matter how well brought up you are. You will think about how you gonna sex your partner up even if you believe in sex after marriage. Sex is overwhelming. That’s how sex crimes come about.
I must praise the prostitution profession. It is the oldest occupation in the world. It is also one of the most profitable jobs in the world. It will guarantee you a lot of pay, given that you are not ill-treated by your employer like the prostitutes in India.
So, believe into sex. It gives you pleasure, gives you power, gives you urge that you can’t resist, gives you satisfaction and enjoyment, gives you power and most of all, gives you lots of profit.
Sex rules.
I am the smartest person on the flat surface of the earth.
During this period of global economic meltdown period, billions of people around the world are facing the risk of losing their jobs as a result of a job-cut by multi-national corporations. Sony corporations has initiate thousands of job-cut and that doesn't excludes Microsoft.
Seeing this situation as a serious life problem, I decided to give a few tips on how to keep your job safe and even get a promotion.
Have Sex With Your Boss
This is a very direct approach to keep your job safe and providing opportunity to get a promotion. This simple approach has been proven to work every time and anywhere. The concept behind this is to give your boss a really good treat to have a really impression on you.
For the ladies, it doesn't matter it's a male boss or a female boss. It works for both gender. The ladies will have an extra advantage to get your bosses to have sex with you.
For a male boss, it's very easy to get him sexed because men are dickheads and they think with their dick. So, a simple seduction or teases will get the male bosses work up and wanting for sex. Do the teasing business throughout the working hour and eat with your boss during lunch-time. Then, get him to stay after working hours citing reasons of “Needing his assistance” or “mentor-slave thing”. That is when you get to have sex with him. I can guarantee you that you won't be in his short-list of job-cut.
To do a female boss, it's much more easier than the males. Of course, you can optionally use the strategies of seducing a male boss. Otherwise, you can cut the crap and just sex your female boss at her own home. Since both are ladies, there's no harm for a female employee to visit the female boss' house or vice versa given that the house has nobody else. Ladies would understand ladies better and ladies are little more in need for it. So it will be easier. Try talk them over and just bang. I'm sure your female boss would love it in the end even it's the first time they had a homo sex. It's also more beneficial for the long run. Your female boss will take good care of you at all times.
Now if you are a male and if you are lucky or gay, you can have sex with your boss as well. If it happens that your boss is a female, you do the usual tricks to get her to bed with you (or on the office table). If your boss is a male, you better make sure that he is a gay. Then, you can sacrifice yourself and sex him up. Who knows he might give you a share of his company.... Lucrative.
For those who are not gay, don't worry. I show you my next tip.
Have Sex With Your Boss' Wife
This is generally effective given that you know your boss' wife and that you get a chance to contact her. So, this first step of approach will be the most challenging part: Getting her contact and getting to know each other.
So guys, work the first step hard and the following tracks will be as easy as it goes.
Once you have gotten her contact and getting her to notice you, keep her as her friend then work on the relation a step at a time. It is not advisable to go straight into seducing her for sex because the chances of getting a good impression is low. Unless your boss' wife is the slutty type, then don't waste time getting a friendship with her.
While maintaining a friendship with her, you always make sure you are at her side at all times. When she needs a friend, you must be the first one there. Then, work a little bit more aggressive to push the relationship a little further into platonic zone. You need to be quick before you lost your job, but not too rush until she gets scared.
When the relationship reaches platonic phase, it's time to strike the chord and get an affair or get straight to bed with her. You might think this whole approach is hideous, but you must understand that you are a male and you need to work harder to keep your job.
This whole process will give to effects. One: giving her a really good impression as a friend and that she will tell her husband (your boss) about the good potential you have and keep you from getting booted. Second: you open a big door towards promotions and eventually owning the whole company, that is if you are smart and bold enough.
If you only want to benefit the first one, then stay being a friend to her. If you want to go further in your career, have sex with her.
Have Sex With Your Boss' Eldest Single Daughter
This approach is very safe. It doesn't matter how old is the elder daughter as long as it's your boss' elder daughter. Why elder daughter? This is because when the eldest of the daughter who is still single, she'll be itching to have one. The father will also be very eager for his daughter get married soon. Which doesn't father doesn't wish to have his daughter married to a nice guy as soon as she is ready.
On this basis, check your boss' family tree. Bump into your boss' daughter and get her contacts. This trick is common to all men so I don't have to explain how to woo a girl. All you have to do is to know the single daughter of your boss' then make sure that she is old enough to have a steady relationship. You need to sex her and marry to get her dying for you.
In this approach, there are two tracks for you to choose. First is to be a good boy and treat her very to convince that you are in a serious and steady relationship with her. Her father won't fire you because you are a good boy and that you are his daughter's future husband cum caretaker. The second is to be a little nasty. Sex her first and get her pregnant. In this case, even if her father (your boss) don't like you, he is forced to accept you because she has your child and his grandson.
It may sound the easiest way to keep your job but the catch is that you have to be lucky your boss have a daughter and she is old enough for you. Never mind if she already have a boyfriend. You can snatch her to you. Think of you career. You have to do it!
In a Nutshell
There is no other way to avoid retrenchment. Even if you are a good performer or the most talented smart-ass of the office floor, it won't guarantee you your job. The global recession times will force job-cutting on layer basis.
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