Saturday, May 23, 2009

Increasing Rat Suicidal Rate

There is an increase in rat suicidal rate. You might notice that you can spot a higher number of rats and cats dying on the streets. Ever wonder why?

The reason is simple. This is due to the economic downturn.

So how does an economic downturn relates to the increase of dead rats?

Economic downturn forces multinational companies to retrench employees by millions. Millions of people have lost their jobs and only a handful of them managed to find jobs.

Even with stimulus packages being passed throughout the world, retrenched people still take time to find jobs. Companies are unwilling to spend so much to employ people.

This results them to be beggars, sleeping on the streets and, worst comes to worst, eating leftover food.

Now, you can see the competition between humans and rats competing for food. Since humans are the most superior beings on earth, rats tend to have less food. This results in increase death rate of rats by starvation and death fighting for food.

While rats are increasingly dying, it may be good news for humans. Decreasing of parasites. Cats, however, are unharmed by the decreasing numbers of cats because humans love cats. They are willing to share the food with cats.

For the people who are afraid of rats, there is something to be happy about despite the economic downturn: decreasing number of rats.

This is the expert analysis of the smartest human being on the flat surface of the earth.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Quote of The Day

If everyone is like me, the world will be a be a much better place.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Quote

I have absolutely no worries about money all the time….until I'm running out of money.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Train Thought 2

Once, in a commuter. Sitting on the seat, noticed a lady entered the commuter upon arrival at a station. Back facing, she looks hot. Thoughts flew in…

Thought: Hey lady, can you please sit beside me?

As she turn around in my direction to take her seat…

Thought: Oh MAN, please don’t sit beside me….

The Irony

When a kid fails his test...

Situation A

Parents : Oh honey it's ok, we know you tried your best, and we don't really care about your result, as long as you know you'd tried your best.

Kid : NO MOM IT'S NOT OK!! I can't fail! No I can't! I need to get straight A's or else how am I going to compete with that Bryan nerd! I need to get that scholarship! NO I MUST GO STUDY NOW! DON'T CALL ME FOR DINNER! URGH....

Situation B

Parents : WHAT??? FAIL?? Oh you're such a disgrace! Now what I have to tell the whole neighbourhood? That I have an idiot for a son??? NO! YOU'RE GROUNDED! NO TV, NO MUSIC! Unless you give me straight A's and get into that Uni or else your life is going to be hell!!

Kid : Screw the A's, I don't need them. Sorry dad but I think the whole thing about school is truely wasting my time. See ya, oh and don't call me for dinner, I'll be on my guitar before you start grounding me.


You can start pairing Nobita's Mom with Fred/George and Snow-White-Mother-version with Hermione.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day

One hot afternoon, A and B were drinking a cup of water on the sidewalk.

A: Hey, It’s Earth Day today.

B: Yeah, let’s celebrate by helping to cool the earth.

A: Good idea.

Spills the cup of water onto the ground.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Malaysian Political Mathematical Formula

Greed + Evil + Bloodsucker + Money + Politician = Sami Vellu

Money x (Greed + Evil + Bloodsucker + Womanizer + rapist + Murder) + Nissan Skyline = Vell Paari (Sami Vellu’s son)

(Evil Genius + Charismatic + intelligent + aggressive) x bold = Tun Dr. Mahathir

Highly charismatic + great talker + brainless + cocker + gay = Anwar Ibrahim

Bold x (cunning + smart) + people’s man + (womanizer)(C4 bomb) = Najib with the Altantunya bombing scandal

[(Rich / untouchable) + bloodsucker + Greed + lustful] x despised = Sami Vellu and his family

Intelligent men(women) + race unity - (some idiots)(political divide) + (money)(votes) + cock = UMNO

Intelligent men(women) + people’s people + some people with big tummies + racial welfare – (sex video)(Chua Soi Lek) = MCA

ammunition + (guns)(roses) + kinky tapes + smart men(women) – idiots = opposition

(idiots^2)(Anwar Ibrahim) + members turning away + (lies)(disappointment) = PKR

(foul mouthedness)(cock)(brainless) + leaks + monthly ‘leaks’ + smoking – intelligence = Parliament

Indians – MIC + MIC haters + rebels – weapons – money = Hindraf

 

Formula References:

men(women) = (men)(women) = Sissy