What Teddy Fuck (WTF): Can’t reach there himself

Ong Tee Keat vs. Chua Soi Lek

Ong: I am the MCA president. You, Chua, cannot challenge nor move me away.

Chua: You are incapable and you are not doing anything for the MCA. It is no use to sit on the position. I will call for VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE!!

Ong: You are in no position to do so. Nobody will follow you because you had a SEXUAL AFFAIR! Who wants to follow a man who is in a sex scandal DVD, having sex with other young chick!

Chua: The sex scandal is a SET UP! Somebody had violated my privacy. Besides, at least i have made many contributions to society and people are willing to give me another chance. What about you? You have done NOTHING!

Ong: Who said i have done nothing. I have uncovered your secret SEX affair to expose the sinister side in you!

Chua: Oh~~~ So YOU are the one who taped the sex video and throw me out of MCA. I am going to TAKE ACTION AGAINST YOU!

Ong: (oops, i screwed up…)

(Recent EGM result was that Ong Tee Keat got voted no confidence and that Chua Soi Lek had failed to mount a challenge on Ong for the presidency post, not even the VP. However, Chua was voted back into MCA as a member.)

………

Patience

Crash of a Kind

I met an accident in my BMW 318i (E46). The following is a sequence of events of my accident.

1. Rushing for work. sprinting on the highway.
2. took the leftest lane and break hard upon a slow car.
3. spot a tight space at the middle lane. a chance to dash through to the right lane.
4. let go of brakes and turn right hard for a quick lane-switch.
5. rear tires lost grip.
6. fish-tail right towards right lane. attempt counter-steering manoeuvre.
7. car switch direction to the left. rear tires still failed to get into grips. fish-tails to the left.
8. Attempt counter-steering again but too late. crashed into the right side of a perodua kelisa at the middle lane.
9. car begins 360-spin clockwise. Attempt 360 steering manoeuvre for a controlled spin at the right lane.
10. car loses momentum at about 280 degrees. front end does not have enough momentum to spin back into place. dabbed the brakes, rear right wheel caught a knock on the centre highway divider.
11. car back in control.
12. parks on the left emergency lane and inspect damage.
13. Perodua Kelisa has the right part totalled. both right doors are damaged beyond operational conditions. B-pillar is slightly deformed.
14. my car, front left ‘facial’ damage. left lights, left dents on engine hood and left quarter panel, left part of bumper sheared and slightly deformed.

What i have learned:

I used to adore the Nissan 370Z. Since this crash, i don’t like the nissan anymore. If i were driving the Nissan, my front bumper might have thrown to the other side of the highway. I’ve become a loyal fan of BMW 3 series from then on.

Don’t buy a Perodua Kelisa. The body structure is really weak. If i failed to control the car properly or failed to minimize the damage, or a go out of hand at an even higher speeds, the structure could have collapsed.

Inspect your tires before travelling fast. If your mechanic says it’s worn out, he’s right. But i forgot about my worn-out rear tires. So, improve your memory.

Believe in unexpected fate. The guy i crashed is someone from JB. Nice guy. He’ll bring on a tour around JB or even get me a good hotel if i’m heading there for a holiday. by the way, JB is not as dangerous as what the newspapers said. It’s anytime safer than KL.

Not posting any pictures of the crash.

Editor’s Note (Joke)

I saw a comment of an anonymous reader. He/she/he-she was challenging the character of where i got the IQ of an apple from. Is it from some kind of a test of what.

I actually thought of it for a very long time. I knew i heard it from somewhere and i can’t remember….until recently.

Do you know where did i got the information of the apple having an IQ of 5?

Guess…

 

I got it from CARTOON NETWORK. XD

There was this advertisement in cartoon network about The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. It compares the IQ of an apple and Billy’s. An apple has an IQ of 5, Billy has an IQ of –15…

So this is a joke i would like to share with you all without publishing this post as the character. But this whole blog is a joke anyway…..

So, have fun. All the best and i hope this blog would make you stupid and brighten up you day.

This is applestupid…

Quote of The Day

Pussy Love…..

(is it a quote or typo error…?)

Sex Dialogue

When a couple having Sex, they would say: Oh, God~~ Oh, God~~

What happens if a Muslim couple having sex: Ya, Allah~~ Ya, Allah~~