During this period of global economic meltdown period, billions of people around the world are facing the risk of losing their jobs as a result of a job-cut by multi-national corporations. Sony corporations has initiate thousands of job-cut and that doesn't excludes Microsoft.
Seeing this situation as a serious life problem, I decided to give a few tips on how to keep your job safe and even get a promotion.
Have Sex With Your Boss
This is a very direct approach to keep your job safe and providing opportunity to get a promotion. This simple approach has been proven to work every time and anywhere. The concept behind this is to give your boss a really good treat to have a really impression on you.
For the ladies, it doesn't matter it's a male boss or a female boss. It works for both gender. The ladies will have an extra advantage to get your bosses to have sex with you.
For a male boss, it's very easy to get him sexed because men are dickheads and they think with their dick. So, a simple seduction or teases will get the male bosses work up and wanting for sex. Do the teasing business throughout the working hour and eat with your boss during lunch-time. Then, get him to stay after working hours citing reasons of “Needing his assistance” or “mentor-slave thing”. That is when you get to have sex with him. I can guarantee you that you won't be in his short-list of job-cut.
To do a female boss, it's much more easier than the males. Of course, you can optionally use the strategies of seducing a male boss. Otherwise, you can cut the crap and just sex your female boss at her own home. Since both are ladies, there's no harm for a female employee to visit the female boss' house or vice versa given that the house has nobody else. Ladies would understand ladies better and ladies are little more in need for it. So it will be easier. Try talk them over and just bang. I'm sure your female boss would love it in the end even it's the first time they had a homo sex. It's also more beneficial for the long run. Your female boss will take good care of you at all times.
Now if you are a male and if you are lucky or gay, you can have sex with your boss as well. If it happens that your boss is a female, you do the usual tricks to get her to bed with you (or on the office table). If your boss is a male, you better make sure that he is a gay. Then, you can sacrifice yourself and sex him up. Who knows he might give you a share of his company.... Lucrative.
For those who are not gay, don't worry. I show you my next tip.
Have Sex With Your Boss' Wife
This is generally effective given that you know your boss' wife and that you get a chance to contact her. So, this first step of approach will be the most challenging part: Getting her contact and getting to know each other.
So guys, work the first step hard and the following tracks will be as easy as it goes.
Once you have gotten her contact and getting her to notice you, keep her as her friend then work on the relation a step at a time. It is not advisable to go straight into seducing her for sex because the chances of getting a good impression is low. Unless your boss' wife is the slutty type, then don't waste time getting a friendship with her.
While maintaining a friendship with her, you always make sure you are at her side at all times. When she needs a friend, you must be the first one there. Then, work a little bit more aggressive to push the relationship a little further into platonic zone. You need to be quick before you lost your job, but not too rush until she gets scared.
When the relationship reaches platonic phase, it's time to strike the chord and get an affair or get straight to bed with her. You might think this whole approach is hideous, but you must understand that you are a male and you need to work harder to keep your job.
This whole process will give to effects. One: giving her a really good impression as a friend and that she will tell her husband (your boss) about the good potential you have and keep you from getting booted. Second: you open a big door towards promotions and eventually owning the whole company, that is if you are smart and bold enough.
If you only want to benefit the first one, then stay being a friend to her. If you want to go further in your career, have sex with her.
Have Sex With Your Boss' Eldest Single Daughter
This approach is very safe. It doesn't matter how old is the elder daughter as long as it's your boss' elder daughter. Why elder daughter? This is because when the eldest of the daughter who is still single, she'll be itching to have one. The father will also be very eager for his daughter get married soon. Which doesn't father doesn't wish to have his daughter married to a nice guy as soon as she is ready.
On this basis, check your boss' family tree. Bump into your boss' daughter and get her contacts. This trick is common to all men so I don't have to explain how to woo a girl. All you have to do is to know the single daughter of your boss' then make sure that she is old enough to have a steady relationship. You need to sex her and marry to get her dying for you.
In this approach, there are two tracks for you to choose. First is to be a good boy and treat her very to convince that you are in a serious and steady relationship with her. Her father won't fire you because you are a good boy and that you are his daughter's future husband cum caretaker. The second is to be a little nasty. Sex her first and get her pregnant. In this case, even if her father (your boss) don't like you, he is forced to accept you because she has your child and his grandson.
It may sound the easiest way to keep your job but the catch is that you have to be lucky your boss have a daughter and she is old enough for you. Never mind if she already have a boyfriend. You can snatch her to you. Think of you career. You have to do it!
In a Nutshell
There is no other way to avoid retrenchment. Even if you are a good performer or the most talented smart-ass of the office floor, it won't guarantee you your job. The global recession times will force job-cutting on layer basis.
