Thursday, April 29, 2010

Weapons Police Use Against Suspects

There is 15-year-old teenager shot to death by a cop. The dead boy’s friend fled on foot. There was some feud on this issue but fear not, i will make clear to everyone regarding the use of firearms against an underage suspect.

The Royal Malaysian Police has a complete array of weapons ranging from semi-automatic pistols (eg. Glock 19, H&K USP and Beretta 92 etc.), Shotguns (eg. Benelli M3 super 90 etc.), assault rifles (M16), submachine guns (H&K MP5), sniper rifles, machine guns, grenade launchers and other non-lethal weapons. Different weapons will be used against different class of suspects.

Now, the first class of suspects will be the underaged teenagers. Teenagers are mostly rebellious, hyper-active, have the need to try new things, aggressive, knows the internet, dumb and weak. These youngsters most probably knew how to home-make a bomb and make other melee weapons. They would love to run around as well. Therefore, a semi-automatic pistol is adequate to handle these type of suspects. They are too weak to fight the cops and too dumb to know how to escape. Therefore, fire a few shots of a pistol is good enough to handle such suspects. On the case of the killed 15-year-old, the cop probably used a pistol and shot him 4 times. That’s reasonable because he only used a modest pistol.

The second class of suspects will be the young adults aged 21 to 30 years old. These young adults are physically stronger, matured and has higher IQ (which means they are smarter). Besides having adequate life experience, they also have the capability to think and devise situations to their favour. Given that they knew the internet, they also know how to acquire more skills and techniques. Thus, the police will need a better weapon, the H&K MP5 submachine gun. It’ll fire 13 bullets per second. So in case the young adults try to do anything nasty, the MP5 will stop them in 13 bullets in a second, reasonable to halt any complicating attempts to hit a cop.

The third class of suspects will be the full grown adults aged 31 to 55 years old. These are the most dangerous suspects. Few examples are Osama bin Laden, Adolf Hitler, George W. Bush and Joaquin Guzman. These people have gone through many things and have plenty of knowledge, experience and brains. These features are complimented with high physical capabilities. Thus, they can do virtually anything. To handle this class of suspects, an assault rifle is the best and most powerful weapon of choice: the M16. These rifles are once used in the army as well as counter terrorism forces around the world. Therefore, it is the most ideal weapon to handle those bastards. Sometimes, sniper rifles, grenade launchers and other special weapons are required incase situation gets worse.

The fourth class of suspects are the senior citizens aged 55 and above. These people are weak, fragile and have plenty of illness. Most common illnesses are heart attack, high blood pressure and stroke. Since they are already weak and ill, they hardly pose a threat to the police petrol. In case they do, a non-lethal weapon is the best option. The best, ideal non-lethal weapon for the police is their grand and merry COCK! It’s non-lethal and it is naturally born on male police. The ultimate method of use will be to flash it at the senior citizens. When the old suspects saw it, they either get too excited or too shock to comprehend. Either way, it will lead to a chain reaction where by their hard attack occurs, high blood pressure burst their veins and they caught stroke instantaneously. Under these circumstances, they will either survive and live on the hospital for the rest of their lives or they die. Thus, the ultimate COCK is non-lethal and non-violent means of handling senior suspects.

I hope this clears the sky of yours. I hope you understand why the police killed the 15-year-old brat.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Dexter’s Laboratory The Big Cheese Parody with some Politician

Laugh (or at least a smile)…

 

Courtesy of Dexter’s Laboratory episode The Big Cheese and Al-Jazeera. And not forgetting the Malaysian politician who don’t talk shit and warned us not to.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Vote for Politicians of Adultery! Hail Adultery!

This is old news. 28 March is the Malaysian Chinese Association held its election. It doesn’t matter if some people wanted to make a fuss out of Ong Tee Keat, but most importantly: DR. CHOA SOI LEK IS THE NEW MCA PRESIDENT.

He has a scandal. He was caught in a video committing adultery. He was the pornstar, the main porn actor, of a porn DVD secretly recorded in a room. It was his favourite room to commit adultery.

Other politicians around the world would step down in disgrace for adultery. But in Malaysia, that is not the case. If you commit a scandal, your star rating will shoot up sky-high. You will be famous and you talk more bull-crap to safe-guard your career.

Dr. Chua’s case is rather amusing. He was the then Health Minister in Malaysia. When the sex scandal DVD showed up, he refused to resign. In the end, he resort to resignation. We thought that was man enough to admit and feel guilty about it. We were wrong. He said he made a mistake, he should have used another room… Hmm, maybe i should use the toilets instead.

Dr. Chua returned to politics once the heat has died down and ran for presidency of MCA. Once again, we thought he will lose out because he has an adultery scandal. Who would wanna vote for adultery.

28 March 2010, we were all wrong again. There ARE people who love adultery. They voted Dr. Chua to be the president. hmm…

I have no true reason why he won it but i can tell that CHINESE MALAYSIANS love adultery. As a warning to the ladies, DON’T MARRY A CHINESE MALAYSIAN GUY. He’ll cheat ANYHOW, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, COME WHAT MAY!

But if you love to be cheated, just like the voters of Dr. Chua, then i would encourage you to marry a Chinese Malaysian. Because if you do that, you can be a superstar just like Dr. Chua. And not forgetting Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim… (oops, did i spill the beans?)

I think i wanna be a Malaysian Politician, a CHINESE politician; so that i can cheat my wife and get as many mistresses as i like and still be able to keep my job, or by chance, a pay rise or the presidency.

Remember, marry a CHINESE MALAYSIAN. Not Indian Malaysian or Malay Malaysian.