Thursday, April 29, 2010

Weapons Police Use Against Suspects

There is 15-year-old teenager shot to death by a cop. The dead boy’s friend fled on foot. There was some feud on this issue but fear not, i will make clear to everyone regarding the use of firearms against an underage suspect.

The Royal Malaysian Police has a complete array of weapons ranging from semi-automatic pistols (eg. Glock 19, H&K USP and Beretta 92 etc.), Shotguns (eg. Benelli M3 super 90 etc.), assault rifles (M16), submachine guns (H&K MP5), sniper rifles, machine guns, grenade launchers and other non-lethal weapons. Different weapons will be used against different class of suspects.

Now, the first class of suspects will be the underaged teenagers. Teenagers are mostly rebellious, hyper-active, have the need to try new things, aggressive, knows the internet, dumb and weak. These youngsters most probably knew how to home-make a bomb and make other melee weapons. They would love to run around as well. Therefore, a semi-automatic pistol is adequate to handle these type of suspects. They are too weak to fight the cops and too dumb to know how to escape. Therefore, fire a few shots of a pistol is good enough to handle such suspects. On the case of the killed 15-year-old, the cop probably used a pistol and shot him 4 times. That’s reasonable because he only used a modest pistol.

The second class of suspects will be the young adults aged 21 to 30 years old. These young adults are physically stronger, matured and has higher IQ (which means they are smarter). Besides having adequate life experience, they also have the capability to think and devise situations to their favour. Given that they knew the internet, they also know how to acquire more skills and techniques. Thus, the police will need a better weapon, the H&K MP5 submachine gun. It’ll fire 13 bullets per second. So in case the young adults try to do anything nasty, the MP5 will stop them in 13 bullets in a second, reasonable to halt any complicating attempts to hit a cop.

The third class of suspects will be the full grown adults aged 31 to 55 years old. These are the most dangerous suspects. Few examples are Osama bin Laden, Adolf Hitler, George W. Bush and Joaquin Guzman. These people have gone through many things and have plenty of knowledge, experience and brains. These features are complimented with high physical capabilities. Thus, they can do virtually anything. To handle this class of suspects, an assault rifle is the best and most powerful weapon of choice: the M16. These rifles are once used in the army as well as counter terrorism forces around the world. Therefore, it is the most ideal weapon to handle those bastards. Sometimes, sniper rifles, grenade launchers and other special weapons are required incase situation gets worse.

The fourth class of suspects are the senior citizens aged 55 and above. These people are weak, fragile and have plenty of illness. Most common illnesses are heart attack, high blood pressure and stroke. Since they are already weak and ill, they hardly pose a threat to the police petrol. In case they do, a non-lethal weapon is the best option. The best, ideal non-lethal weapon for the police is their grand and merry COCK! It’s non-lethal and it is naturally born on male police. The ultimate method of use will be to flash it at the senior citizens. When the old suspects saw it, they either get too excited or too shock to comprehend. Either way, it will lead to a chain reaction where by their hard attack occurs, high blood pressure burst their veins and they caught stroke instantaneously. Under these circumstances, they will either survive and live on the hospital for the rest of their lives or they die. Thus, the ultimate COCK is non-lethal and non-violent means of handling senior suspects.

I hope this clears the sky of yours. I hope you understand why the police killed the 15-year-old brat.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Dexter’s Laboratory The Big Cheese Parody with some Politician

Laugh (or at least a smile)…

 

Courtesy of Dexter’s Laboratory episode The Big Cheese and Al-Jazeera. And not forgetting the Malaysian politician who don’t talk shit and warned us not to.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Vote for Politicians of Adultery! Hail Adultery!

This is old news. 28 March is the Malaysian Chinese Association held its election. It doesn’t matter if some people wanted to make a fuss out of Ong Tee Keat, but most importantly: DR. CHOA SOI LEK IS THE NEW MCA PRESIDENT.

He has a scandal. He was caught in a video committing adultery. He was the pornstar, the main porn actor, of a porn DVD secretly recorded in a room. It was his favourite room to commit adultery.

Other politicians around the world would step down in disgrace for adultery. But in Malaysia, that is not the case. If you commit a scandal, your star rating will shoot up sky-high. You will be famous and you talk more bull-crap to safe-guard your career.

Dr. Chua’s case is rather amusing. He was the then Health Minister in Malaysia. When the sex scandal DVD showed up, he refused to resign. In the end, he resort to resignation. We thought that was man enough to admit and feel guilty about it. We were wrong. He said he made a mistake, he should have used another room… Hmm, maybe i should use the toilets instead.

Dr. Chua returned to politics once the heat has died down and ran for presidency of MCA. Once again, we thought he will lose out because he has an adultery scandal. Who would wanna vote for adultery.

28 March 2010, we were all wrong again. There ARE people who love adultery. They voted Dr. Chua to be the president. hmm…

I have no true reason why he won it but i can tell that CHINESE MALAYSIANS love adultery. As a warning to the ladies, DON’T MARRY A CHINESE MALAYSIAN GUY. He’ll cheat ANYHOW, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, COME WHAT MAY!

But if you love to be cheated, just like the voters of Dr. Chua, then i would encourage you to marry a Chinese Malaysian. Because if you do that, you can be a superstar just like Dr. Chua. And not forgetting Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim… (oops, did i spill the beans?)

I think i wanna be a Malaysian Politician, a CHINESE politician; so that i can cheat my wife and get as many mistresses as i like and still be able to keep my job, or by chance, a pay rise or the presidency.

Remember, marry a CHINESE MALAYSIAN. Not Indian Malaysian or Malay Malaysian.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Earth Hour is for Sex

27th March is the Earth Hour. We will off the lights at 8.30pm to 9.30pm. Perfect timing to have sex.

When everybody off the lights, it's pretty good timing to do it in the dark. So, let's enjoy the earth hour and have. Let's get SEXY TIME while saving planet earth!!!

Merry Sex-ful Earth Hour

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Fucked Up Country

You sit your car, driving a fucked up national car, a Proton, which is subsidised by a fucked up government who most of the fucking politician eats your fucked up taxes and not fucking doing anything. Then you drive the down the fucked up road full of fucking poothholes and some fucked up driver drive into you fucking lane and almost fucking crash you while some fucked up drivers just fucking road bullies. Suddenly, some fucked up bricks are placed on the fucking middle of the road by some fucked up insane people and you fucking hit it.

While doing it, some fucked up employer just pay fucking low wages. The fucking governement rules taxed up fucking imported goods and you need to fucking pay so much for something that is less. You also need to fucking pay high prices for fucked up fuel. The government still fucking tax you and eats your money which is why they fucking get fat.

Then, there's fucking racial based politics in this fucked up country, Malaysia, with fucked up people who can't do fucking good jobs. Fucking investors wouldn't come to this fucked up country because of the fucked up policies and fucked up infrastructure. Our broadband services are fucking inreliable and fucking costly. What a fucked up country.

But there are many much seriously fucked countries than Malaysia. USA is fucking spending tax money like some fucking tap water on the fucked up War On Terror. It's fucking AIG got fucked by some fucking imaginary financial businesses and caused the fucking global economic crisis. China suffered a few fucking disasters. Haiti was thoroughly fucked up by earth quake and its government is literally fucked up. Iraq is fucked up badly by USA. Pakistan and some other middle eastern countries are totally fucked up by fucking Talibans and fucked up terrorists with their fucked minds stuck in their fucked up ideologies.

England's younger generations are morally fucked up. French people are fucking lazy and closes their shops at 6 or 7pm. Indonesia fucks the Chinese people and their Rupiah is so fucked up that its fucked up. Myanmar is fucked by junta for decades and still fucking SuKyi in her fucked up home. Philipines is fucked up by Arroyo with her fucked up politicians with fucked up militias. Its fucking militias also fucked some innocent politicians and their fucked up innocent relatives and friends and the fucking journalists.

So, Malaysia is a fucked up country. But there are many other much more fucked up countries than Malaysia. In short, all countries are fucked up by fucked up people. So, be happy living i this fucked up country cuz you might not even survivied in other more fucked up countries than Malaysia.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Proudly Announcing: The First Caning of Muslim Women in Malaysia! (we love threesome fetish…)

The headline on the website of Malaysia’s biggest English newspaper, The Star, shows: Three Women Caned Under Syariah Law

It’s not interesting if this happens in the middle East, but in Malaysia, this is a problem. Maybe long, long time ago, there are far harsher punishment on local Muslims before being colonised and after Parameswara adopted Islam. But after achieving independence, things have changed.

Who needs to be caned by people in public during this modern times? It’ll only discourage reproduction. Today, 3 more women in Malaysia won’t be having sex for the rest of their lives unless they go through sexual counselling course to erase that deep, terrible emotional and psychological impact.

If you read the news article, try to take a look at paragraph 11:

“People are saying that no woman has been caned before and that Kartika should not be caned. Today I am ANNOUNCING that we have already done it (caned women). There is no hidden agenda but we are merely executing our responsibility and we did it according to the law,” words of Home Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Tun Hussein.

WOW! WE’VE CANED WOMEN and we are ANNOUNCING that ‘ACHIEVEMENT’! I’m so proud! Malaysia have so many funny stuff happening! Ha ha ha… For the sake of All-ah and Mu-Slim!

Damn. I feel pity for the three women. They just wanna have fun. If it’s wrong, there’s no need to jail them or cane them then ANNOUNCE it in public, though the names are covered. But think about it, all you have to do is fine them then get them through a healthy sexual and moral counselling. We always know that this is the best way to ‘fix’ the petty wrong-doers.

Besides, it’s only having sex, not raping a guy. It’s people agreed to do it together; a mutual agreement. The way they cane them looks more like robbing their dignity rather than restoring their sense of self-respect. To make matters worse, they even ANNOUNCE their Syariah actions.

For the rest of the ladies’ lives, they won’t be having sex until they decided to abandon their faith and enjoy doing it to help increase Malaysian population. This is because of some faggot took authoritative actions the ANCIENT way with the name of religion and left behind a sorry state of emotional trauma against that faith.

If the authorities decide to use a more innovative and more effective way of doing things, it’s rather be healthy sexual and moral counselling. This is also what the Western people did to restore moral values in a person, and it is proven effective. It is also better than using ANCIENT  method of punishment which is no longer effective in modern times. Those methods may even have counter-effects!

Wait a minute. Maybe those ladies love fetish because their men couldn’t do it good enough. That’s why there’s caning. Wow Hishammudin, you really are LADIES’ MAN. You sure know what ladies want!

In short, Malaysia is not mature enough. Just like a kid, there are many funny stories to talk about. Enjoy…

Friday, January 29, 2010

Mindless FAGGOT!!! *angry*

I do not understand why some people tend to leave their brains at home or somewhere else in the world. I simply made a light joke/prank and he charged and injured my thumb at our friend’s birthday party, knowing that i came 45km for this party and have to drive home alone.

In case you’re wondering how i made fun of that faggot, let me tell you. He reached the place and wondering where is another friend. i told him to look there, then i said “No, he’s not here. i just simply crap it.”

Just like that.

My thumb swelled and the birthday-boy was kind enough to lend me an ice-pack to minimize the injury, so that i can at least move my thumb (a bit) and drive my car properly for 45km.

If he is a dog, came charging at me and bite my thumb during someone else’s birthday party, i won’t mind because it’s a dog; a dog won’t understand my joke. But that faggot is a human, being what he is: a faggot.

He don’t learn respect at home. He came and messed up my night. I wasn’t even fucking his mom or dad or his siblings or any single part of his fag-body publicly. Why is he out of his mind and act like a dog and not showing any respect? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT FAGGOT?

Oh, maybe faggots act like dogs. His ‘habitat’ is simply a habitat. Nothing more. Nothing being taught there. No respect being taught of. Just a cave. A cave for the FAGGOT.