Jalan Alor, Jalan Kejora; Mr. You, Mr. Face

A recent news that some bloody-lazy-nothing-better-to-do political figure recommends that Jalan Alor to be changed into Jalan Kejora.

For decades, Jalan Alor is known as Jalan Alor and it is a very popular tourists spot. The moment you mention Jalan Alor, you think about the food there. It is a popular tourist attraction because of the food. So naturally foreigners will know it as Jalan Alor.

But this bloody-lazy-nothing-better-to-do political figure wanted to change the name.

The reason why he changed the name was because the nearby streets were named after planets. There is Jalan Bukit Bintang (Star Hill Walk) and Jalan Bulan (Moon Walk - courtesy of Micheal Jackson). So he wanted Jalan Alor to rhyme like the planets, Jalan Kejora (Venus Walk).

This is a bit of bullshit. It sounds like Mr. Fuck has a son and he named him Mr. You. 50 years later he wanted to change his son's name to Mr. Face so that it could rhyme better together................

So lame.......At least the bloody-lazy-nothing-better-to-do political figure should rename the street using my name in honor to the smartest man on the flat surface of the earth. Wait, i don't think he knows my name. He's too applestupid to know it.......Gaaa!!!

Brain Overview

Our brain overview...

This is ME.

This is YOU.

This is the second smartest person on the flat surface of the earth.

I'm the smartest person on the FLAT surface of the earth!

Count To Zero

Two rocket scientists are about to initiate a rocket experiment by launching a rocket.

A: The rocket is ready to be tested.

B: Okay, I'll start counting. One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Eight... Nine.... Ten.... Eleven... Twelve... (and counting)...

A: Hey, when are you gonna launch?

B: Until i reach zero.... Thirteen... Fourteen... Fifteen... Sixteen... Seveteen... Eighteen....... (and counting)

The Replacement F Word

People find it vulgar to say the word Fuck, though it is the most beautiful word in English language. It can be used as a Verb in way of Transitive: John fucked Mary, as well as intransitive: Mary was fucked by John.

It can also be used as an adjective: Mary is fucking beautiful. It maybe used as a noun: Mary the fine fuck. On top of that, it can be used in vitually any situation such as:

Surprise: Fuck! You scared me!

Innovation: Get me a bigger fucking hammer.

Insult: Fuck face.

Directive: Fuck off.

Heated conversation: Fuck you!

Request: Please fuck me.

and can also be used as a term for sex: Sexual Fuck.

As you read, you can't help but to feel a little uneasy everytime you come across the word Fuck. i recommend that people should use the replacement of the word fuck.

In scientific terms, when a male initiate sex with a female (or the same sex), the action is termed INTERCOURSE. This is where the word Fuck originated from and expanded its use. Therefore, in order to feel less vulgar, we should start using the word INTERCOURSE. Read the following for examples:

Verb in way of Transitive: John intercourse Mary, as well as intransitive: Mary was intercoursed by John.

It can also be used as an adjective: Mary is intercoursingly beautiful. It maybe used as a noun: Mary the fine intercourse. On top of that, it can be used in vitually any situation such as:

Surprise: INTERCOURSE! You scared me!

Innovation: Get me a bigger intercoursing hammer.

Insult: Intercourse face.

Directive: Intercourse off.

Heated conversation: Intercourse you!

Request: Please intercourse me.

and can also be used as a scientific term for sex: Sexual Intercourse.

Obviously, you don't feel uneasy or find it vulgar. Therefore it is better to use the word Intercourse rather than Fuck. Please be civilized. Our children will follow the footsteps of the grown ups.

This is a moral message from the smartest man in the world, the person who is smarter than an apple, which is me myself.

Defiant Illusion

There are many ways to make you feel better in situations when they are bad. One of the ways is the defiant illusion. It means that you defy reality and prefer to see things through your own illusions that make you feel better.

This is a very good psychology boost that increases your mood and encourages you to work more and harder to get what you want.

Let's give an example:

Once i went to Low Yat Plaza. I don't know why are there too many cars which makes things hard to get a parking. It's a weekday and people should be working during the evening or go home and look for their wives. It was really hard to get a parking space.

I was frustrated round after round, too frustrated until i feel like wanna shout at all the people outside of my car and tell them that they are idiots and they should reserve a parking space for the smartest man in the world, because i am smarter than an apple.

However, i prefer to stay low profile. I want to avoid unwanted attention because there are many jealous people that would figure out some evil plans to eliminate me. But i was so frustrated about the unavailable parking that i want to vent it.

So, i decided to give myself an illusion.

As i drove, i tell myself, "This is just an illusio. There are so many cars occupying parking spaces are merely an illusion. Wan kok lei ge jie (cantonese). All the parking spaces are empty. So just park in any of the spaces. If i happen to spot a crash or a wreck, it is also MERELY an ILLUSION. My car have no damage in reality. The wreck is just an illusion.@

Then, I found a parking space. I was so glad that i finally found one. So i just park my car and get on with my hunt for PC hardware.........

Right Words For The Situations

As the smartest man in the world, I will talk about using the right phrase in the right situation to gain advantages.

People today should learn the talking skills. We witnessed how good talkers like me could make an impact or make an impression even though i am merely saying the same or a normal phrase. These normal words somehow could make a large impact given that you use it in the right situation.

Let me give you an example. Imagine two guys and a girl vying for a piece of chocolate.

Girl: Boy A, give me that piece of chocolate. You should be a gentleman to girls okay.

Boy A: I won't give the only piece to anyone. Not even to you or to Boy B. I don't care.

Girl: oh please please please~~~~~ I really that piece of chocolate. Please~~~~(kneeling)

Boy A: Okay. But u must so something in order to get the chcolate.

Girl: Okay. I will do anything to get that piece of chocolate.

Boy A: You must give me a blowjob if you want this piece of chocolate. (pull down his pants)

Girl: erm....okay....but u must promise me to give me the chocolate.

Boy A: I promise...just suck my dick....

Girl: (sucks Boy A's dick)

Boy A: (after ejaculation) ahh~~~ yeah~~~ Good girl. Now you can have the only piece of chocolate.

Girl: Horray~~~ But i feel horny right now. I want to suck a dick again. It's just so kinky and yummy...

Boy B: (sensing an advantage) Okay....I let you suck my dick...

Girl: oh yeah...thanks boy B. I wanna taste your dick....Give it to me....Let me do it on you. I'm getting horny.....

Boy B: Not yet...you have to give me the piece of chocolate, then i'll let you suck my dick. Its a fair trade.

Girl: Okay....no problem (hands Boy B the chocolate and sucks Boy B's dick)


See. This is how the same, normal phrase being used in different situations to gain the appropriate advantage. Boy A gave away his chocolate and got a blowjob, which is a little rewarding. However when you look at Boy B, he not only gain the piece of chocolate, he even got a blowjob. Double gain.

So this is how you should talk. Speak the right words at the right time in the right place. It will make a big impact on people and may probably give you advantages

Pikachu's Super-Villain

Okay, let's look at superheroes and super-villains. The most succesful hero is when it has a super-villain.

For example, Prof. Xavier (X-men) has a super-villain called magneto. Batman's super-villain is The Joker whereas Spiderman's super-villains are the Green Goblin, Venom and Dr. Octopus. Even the Superman has a super-villain, Doomsday, who ultimately killed him once.

These are the kind of superhero series that are ultimately succesful and lasted for generations. However, there is this recent cartoon thing called the Pokemon. It was highly succesful among kids with the song theme lyrics 'you teach me and i teach you...Pokemon~~~~'....yea right. It doesn't even teach the kids proper respect to animal rights by repeating 'gotta catch 'em all...' Animals, even pokemons, deserve basic animal rights. They can choose to say NO....just like humans. We practice basic human rights....by saying NO....

The main pokemon throughout the series is the yellow thing called Pikachiu or pikachu or watever the spelling is i don't care. I'm simply too smart to even bother spelling it right.

This Pikachu thing doesn't really have a super-villian to ultimately counter it. So i design and wrote a new super-villain to ultimately kill it or even severely affect it. I designed that ultimate character and sent it to the Pikachu creators for consideration.

What's the super-villian? I'll tell you. Imagine, everytime Ash throws the ball-thing and shouted "GO PIKACHU!!!" and pops out a Pikachu. When it is my turn to compete with it, i will throw the ball thing and yell louder:"

"GO~~~~~~~ PIKA-FUCKER-CHU~~~~~~~~~!!!!!"

THAT will be the perfect ultimate supervillain of all Pokemon series to ultimately destroy the 'heroic' yellow shitless thing.

During the duel, when Pikachu strikes a lightning bolt to Pika-FUCKER-chu, my supervillain will absorb the energy and enlarges its dick. So no matter how many times the Pikachu strikes the lightning, it will only make my supervillain stronger in its weapon, THE DICK.

When Pika-FUCKER-chu gets its dick big enough, it will make the final and the ultimate BACKLASH. It will sprint forward like lightning and strikes hard into the pussy or anus of Pikachu (depending on its gender), rendering Pikachu to be powerless and horny. The loud and brave sounding of the Pika language will change into a horny sound of "Pi~~ka~~~". At this very moment, Pikachu is psychologically destryoed and resort to SELF-DESTRUCTION. It may make itself into sexual maniac, morally degraded, or even suicidal due to the fact that its being raped.

The reason why i design my ULTIMATE supervillain in such a way is because besides teaching kids on robbing away basic animal rights (gotta catch 'em all slogan), my Pika-FUCKER-chu will also teach and show imprtant information about sexual education. It will increase the awareness of sex.

Besides, Pika-FUCKER-chu will tell the adverse effects of rape and unprotected sex. Through this method, very young kids will begin to understand the adverse negative impact of rape and also the dangers of unprotected sex. This way will help curb pre-marital sex, unwanted pregnancy, STDs as well as rape cases.

You see, this is a perfect super-villain for the Pokemon series. It will even spread its popularity towards the grown-ups because it could serve mild erotica. This results in increase in TV viewers of the series. This is simply perfect.

Here, i have showed my intelligence. I AM THE SMARTEST PERSON ON THE FLAT SURFACE OF THE EARTH. No questions ask. Undoubtfully correct and ultimately accurate fact. Even apples cannot come close to my level of intelligence. This earth needs more humans as smart as me....