- Santa dead
- santa dead
- santa dead
- santa dead
- santa dead
- santa dead
- santa dead
- santa dead
- santa dead
- santa dead
- last and the least: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009
Monday, December 29, 2008
2009 New Wish List
This is my wish list for the 2009 New Year
Name of Meat
Cow meat is called beef.
Goat mean is called mutton.
Pig meat is called pork.
Therefore, human meat is called MILF.
Cat meat is called COTTON.
Dog meat is called DORK.
I am the smartest man on the flat surface of the earth.
Therefore you all called the apples human on the rounded surface of the earth.
Thou shall accept the names as it is suitable for you apple people.
Goat mean is called mutton.
Pig meat is called pork.
Therefore, human meat is called MILF.
Cat meat is called COTTON.
Dog meat is called DORK.
I am the smartest man on the flat surface of the earth.
Therefore you all called the apples human on the rounded surface of the earth.
Thou shall accept the names as it is suitable for you apple people.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Code Words
People beed code words to signal something secretive to other people. This is a very popular trend in secret organizations such as CIA, USA's Secret Service and the British SAS. For example, in the USA's Secret Service who are tasked to protect the President, they won't address George W. Bush as in George Wanking Bush. They assign names that startes with the same alphabet for him and his family. George Bush and his family will start their code names with Tumbler or Trailblazer, Tempo for his First Lady, Turquise and Twinkle for two of his daughters.
Those code names for George Bush are very secret. You don't know them and i won't tell you...
These code words aka code names are essential to signal something.
The very instance, if you wanna tell you sibling or sex partner that you wanna watch porn without your mom realizing it, you can say:
"Hey, let's watch fish in the 'POND'."
Or if you wanna start and mass killing without the police understanding it, you can say:
"Let's buy a hundred of buckets and kick them...."
If you wanna state that your girlfriend is dead without letting your dead girlfriend's parents realizing it, you can say:
"My gf has tripped on a bucket."
If you spot a hot chick and want to tell a friend without making your girl jealous, you can say:
"Hey dude, i spot a ayam panas."
So next time, get creative and hide your intentions with secret code words. Try to be smart even thought you are not. I am the smartest man on the flat surface of the earth. I create codes words far secret than anyone. For example, I won't reveal my name and i code my name as 'I'.
Those code names for George Bush are very secret. You don't know them and i won't tell you...
These code words aka code names are essential to signal something.
The very instance, if you wanna tell you sibling or sex partner that you wanna watch porn without your mom realizing it, you can say:
"Hey, let's watch fish in the 'POND'."
Or if you wanna start and mass killing without the police understanding it, you can say:
"Let's buy a hundred of buckets and kick them...."
If you wanna state that your girlfriend is dead without letting your dead girlfriend's parents realizing it, you can say:
"My gf has tripped on a bucket."
If you spot a hot chick and want to tell a friend without making your girl jealous, you can say:
"Hey dude, i spot a ayam panas."
So next time, get creative and hide your intentions with secret code words. Try to be smart even thought you are not. I am the smartest man on the flat surface of the earth. I create codes words far secret than anyone. For example, I won't reveal my name and i code my name as 'I'.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Cat Sex
Once I spotted a group of three cats on a street, one blue, one red and one black. Suddenly, the blue cat ran across a short distance and stood to strike a pose. I thought this is going to be interesting where the blue cat is going to hunt something. The next moment, the red cat ran towards the blue cat, push it over on its back and start having sex. The black on the other hand, didn’t seem to bother much about it. It never paid attention to the two cats having sex in front of it and just being ignorant. The black cat just doesn’t care while the other two were having a great sex in front of it.
This whole action sequence gave me a storm of thinking. Are we civilized than the cats or vice versa?
The idea was that we claim to be on top of the food chain in the animal world. We, the humans are special. But I, being the smartest human being on the flat surface of the earth, am more special. We claim to be the civilized beings with thinking capabilities. More importantly, we claim to be CIVILIZED! (MOST importantly, I am the MOST CIVILIZED!)
But when I look at the cats, the question repeats itself: Are we indeed civilized?
The cats can just have sex whenever they wanted, wherever they like and with authority. The rest of the cats doesn’t seem to care much. On top of that, the cats knew how to cover their pooh with sand everything they are finished with their loo. These are very simple logic. You want to have sex, you just do it without anybody to bother about. You want to shit, you just make sure u cover it with sand because there is no loo-convenience like cat-washrooms for you.
Looking at ourselves as humans, we are basically quite the opposite. When you have sex and the neighbours heard you, they will start to talk behind your back about the loudness of your sexual activities. People will irk and scream and lodge complains. The Fatwa Council will come and say you are committing fa(r)twa. The police will break your door and arrest you for public disorder. The newspapers will send paparazzi to snap your photos and make your ‘sex’ news a sensational headline. The parents will tell their kids false conceptions about the badness of sex even though they have sex ‘loudly’ themselves.
While you, being IN THE SCENE OF THE ‘CRIME’ or ‘FA(R)TWA should I say, will be a victim of social discrimination and prejudice. You’ll be jailed and whipped. You will receive a different coloured Identity Card when you are free on parole. You parents will disown you saying that you are a shame to the family. Your supposed sex partner will be a shame to even walk on the streets and end up killing herself. Your then belated partner’s parents will hunt you down to repay your ‘debt’. The cats, well, just don’t give a damn.
While in the loo, there are still ‘humans’ that doesn’t flush after they shit. They just shit in the bowl and forgot to flush. Or maybe they just don’t want to. Some even steal the flushing mechanism wishing that people would buy the parts at a price of a bowl of shark-fin soup. The cats, well, don’t give a damn because they weren’t even allowed to use the loo. So, the cats are forced to shit on the ground and covered it with sand so that the smell won’t go anywhere.
You see, animals have their own principles. They conduct them better than us. We, being humans, also have our own principles. However, we don’t conduct them AT ALL. The animals can do what they need and want to do. It is at their liberty to do what is needed. If they want to have sex, they just do it. No offense and no other animals would bother because it is normal and it is none of their business. Of the animal couple didn’t want it, they just don’t do it. No offense and all principles are right.
For the humans, we just don’t conduct our principles. When we need to do anything, we still need to look at a hundred thousand issues that are irrelevant and in the end, we cannot do what we need to do. When you want to have sex with somebody, you have to think about morality, consent, mood, timing, situation, condition, rules, bed, lights, music, smell, size, tightness, hair, more hair, food, cleanliness, parents, teachers, neighbours as well as LOUDNESS. After looking at everything, it’s already the nest day and we don’t want it anymore. Another unfulfilled need, which eventually will lead to extreme lust and results in rape, be it raping your own wife or others.
In short, humans are not as civilized as we suppose ourselves to be. Even to fulfil a mandatory need (like having sex) we need to make so many measurements and third party people simply want to get involve. Even executing a simple need is difficult. We just don’t do it. We don’t flush the loo.
Why can’t we be like animals, simple and follows principles. When we want to have sex, just do it. Other person who happen to walk by don’t need to care about someone having sex on the street or in a house with a loud noise. That is our need. It’s natural. It’s normal. We don’t need to care! And if you use the loo, just flush. It’s ever so simple, a pull of the pulley and all problems solved!
Note: I AM CIVILIZED. I AM MORE HUMAN THAN YOU. I HAVE SEX WHENEVER I WANT AND NOBODY GIVE A DAMN. I DON’T CARE WHO HAVE SEX AT WHERE AND WHEN. I FLUSH THE LOO EVERYTIME AFTER I USE IT. I STICK TO MY PRINCIPLES WITH UTTER SIMPLICITY.
I am the smartest human being on the FLAT surface of the EARTH!
Feeling arose? Please be civilized
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Crocs in Shopping Malls
This is to caution all of you about crocs in shopping malls. But let's talk about crocs first....
The way a croc hunt unsuspecting prey is very clever. It usually hides beneath water surface of a river. Rivers are not usually clear nor clean. Therefore a croc find it very much easy to hide in the calm and quiet river, waiting for unsuspecting prey to get to the river to drink water.
Since water is the second most important element of life (after air), all animals will eventually get to a river to drink some. So let's say a stupid animal got very thirsty but not horny, it will get to the river to drink water. Seeing that the river is calm, the stupid animal stupidly conclude that the river is safe to consume its water. This is where the catch comes.
As the stupid animal duck its head and indulge into the freshness of river water, the croc was already waiting patiently for the chance. It sneaks and swim very quietly beneath the water surface, take a good look at the stupid animal's idiotic face. Then, it jumps at it, biting the animal at its neck while dragging it into the river. That will be a rich breakfast for the croc.
So we come back to the topic of 'Crocs in Shopping Malls'. There are many people making numerous attempts to sneak things out of a shopping mall. Some would disguise as an innocent looking female preying on unsuspecting customer to trick the victim into helping her to sneak things out.
So the way these innocent-looking crocs do their job is almost similar to a real crocodile. She will blend into the crowd and pretend that she is doing grocery shopping just like everybody else. Then, making herself hands full or pretend that she has to abandone her cart for a moment, she will ask one apple victim to help her push her cart out while she need to attend something. She reassure the apple victime that she will come back for her cart and begs for the victim's kindness.
So the apple victim felt a little kindness and help push the cart out. Suddenly the sensors alarmed and surrounded by security guards. The Innocent croc sense trouble, she immediately disappears and left the innocent victim alone to handle the situation.
At this point of time, the apple victim is trouble of suspected attempt to sneak unpaid goods out of the mall. The apple victim is brought to a security room for settlements and if it didn't turn up well, the case will be reported to the police to settle the case. So the apple victime is innocent yet framed for a stealing attempt, which is a crime.
In this incident, the croc succesfully put the victim into trouble. The croc evaded law enforcers and put the crime on another innocent person instead.
So I, as the smartest person on the flat surface of the earth, urge to all public that
YOU MUST BE WARY OF CROCS IN SHOPPING MALLS!!!
Crocs is a short-hand for 'crocodile', in case you have an apple brain and you are asking what is a croc.
The way a croc hunt unsuspecting prey is very clever. It usually hides beneath water surface of a river. Rivers are not usually clear nor clean. Therefore a croc find it very much easy to hide in the calm and quiet river, waiting for unsuspecting prey to get to the river to drink water.
Since water is the second most important element of life (after air), all animals will eventually get to a river to drink some. So let's say a stupid animal got very thirsty but not horny, it will get to the river to drink water. Seeing that the river is calm, the stupid animal stupidly conclude that the river is safe to consume its water. This is where the catch comes.
As the stupid animal duck its head and indulge into the freshness of river water, the croc was already waiting patiently for the chance. It sneaks and swim very quietly beneath the water surface, take a good look at the stupid animal's idiotic face. Then, it jumps at it, biting the animal at its neck while dragging it into the river. That will be a rich breakfast for the croc.
So we come back to the topic of 'Crocs in Shopping Malls'. There are many people making numerous attempts to sneak things out of a shopping mall. Some would disguise as an innocent looking female preying on unsuspecting customer to trick the victim into helping her to sneak things out.
So the way these innocent-looking crocs do their job is almost similar to a real crocodile. She will blend into the crowd and pretend that she is doing grocery shopping just like everybody else. Then, making herself hands full or pretend that she has to abandone her cart for a moment, she will ask one apple victim to help her push her cart out while she need to attend something. She reassure the apple victime that she will come back for her cart and begs for the victim's kindness.
So the apple victim felt a little kindness and help push the cart out. Suddenly the sensors alarmed and surrounded by security guards. The Innocent croc sense trouble, she immediately disappears and left the innocent victim alone to handle the situation.
At this point of time, the apple victim is trouble of suspected attempt to sneak unpaid goods out of the mall. The apple victim is brought to a security room for settlements and if it didn't turn up well, the case will be reported to the police to settle the case. So the apple victime is innocent yet framed for a stealing attempt, which is a crime.
In this incident, the croc succesfully put the victim into trouble. The croc evaded law enforcers and put the crime on another innocent person instead.
So I, as the smartest person on the flat surface of the earth, urge to all public that
YOU MUST BE WARY OF CROCS IN SHOPPING MALLS!!!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Political Rants
That day I had a long chat with Najib. We touched on the topic about transparency policy in the government system. I told him that we are not transparent enough. There are still many things that have been covered up. For example, Najib doesn't wear his underwear and he didn't admit it. He always answer "I am wearing an underwear, it is in skin colour." He somehow argue that he is being transparent because he is telling that he is not wearing underwear.
I disagree. How can you change the words and paraphrase to indirectly alter the truth that you are not wearing an underwear? Of course I can understand that Najib didn't wear his underwear because he said it is in skin colour. But what about the people? Those apple brains thought he is indeed wearing an underwear that is skin coloured.
Then i test Badawi's attitude towards transparency policy. I said that he is wearing a bra, a red bra because i can see it through his white shirt. But he refuse to admit. He said that he had some allergic on his chest that made him scratch until reddish. yea right....
This is the problem with the government. They said they are being transparent, but they somehow tweak the words to blur up the truth. Only people like me, which is rare, can understand their cover-ups. This is very dagnerous.
Recently this Razak guy was acquitted of involvment in the blow-up of Altantunya, the 'hot-chick'. People say that Najib had an affair with her and that he have to blow her up in order to cover up the truth so that the fatwa council won't chase him or to avoid a black resume prior to being the next Prime Minister.
I must admire Najib for his 'transparency' trick. He simply said "No, I don't know her at all. Never heard of her. Never seen her before." But i don't care. It doesn't matter to me. And i am not accusing him. But his cover-up is so perfect that it is like saying that he is wearing an underwear while he is not because you cannot demand him to pull down his pants to show whether he is wearing it or not, or he is wearing something else.
When i touch about fatwa, newspapers saying that the fa(r)twa council is expected to anounce a ruling to ban Yoga among Muslims in Malaysia by Friday. Thay said that Yoga requires Practitioners to 'chant' something and it might deviate from Muslim teachings. I wonder what Yoga class that they attend to?
Maybe they went to the wrong 'Yoga' class. Maybe they mistaken the sex spa class as a Yoga class and sex spa class always chant 'Ah~~~ ah~~~ ah~~~'. That chant is very near to the word Allah so they have to ban the 'Yoga'. But since the chant 'Ah~~ ah~~ ah~~' is so close to the word Allah, why not just encourage Muslims to practice Yoga? It gets them closer to their beloved God. Why ban it?
The fa(r)twa council is trying to make some havock. They say Yoga deviates from Muslim teachings is like saying their fathers, after 50 years of caring them, is trying to commit sodomy to them because their fathers are too close to them. I mean, Yoga is good. Nobody chant anything when practicing Yoga. All they did was strecthing and discovering their own body and mind for more than 5000 years. They should re-organise another trip to a proper Yoga class and this time let me show them the difference between a brothel and a Yoga class.
Yoga has been existed for more than 5000 years. People around the world, regardless of race and religion, practice it at their own free will. It does good to the body and mind and never hamrs the spirits of practitioners. The fa(r)twa council branding Yoga as fatwa is like saying that football is also fatwa and qigong is also fatwa.
As what Datuk Wan Mohamad Shei(t)kh Abdul Aziz said about Yoga that 'When those involved take them as 'trends', such cultures can lead to a 'serious crime' according to syariah law and this can destroy the family institution'. He is categorizing Yoga as harmful in the syariah law. Gee..... When will he say Mat Rempit is harmful while Yoga and qigong is great? (What a wonder.....)
Based on the 'Transparency' policy, this girl in the picture is actually naked. She has a very black breasts and chest and stick a sticker between her breasts. Therefore, the Fa(r)twa Council conclude that she commited fa(r)twa for having black breasts and chest. She also commited another fa(r)twa because she stick a sticker on her chest.....
Pathetic.
I disagree. How can you change the words and paraphrase to indirectly alter the truth that you are not wearing an underwear? Of course I can understand that Najib didn't wear his underwear because he said it is in skin colour. But what about the people? Those apple brains thought he is indeed wearing an underwear that is skin coloured.
Then i test Badawi's attitude towards transparency policy. I said that he is wearing a bra, a red bra because i can see it through his white shirt. But he refuse to admit. He said that he had some allergic on his chest that made him scratch until reddish. yea right....
This is the problem with the government. They said they are being transparent, but they somehow tweak the words to blur up the truth. Only people like me, which is rare, can understand their cover-ups. This is very dagnerous.
Recently this Razak guy was acquitted of involvment in the blow-up of Altantunya, the 'hot-chick'. People say that Najib had an affair with her and that he have to blow her up in order to cover up the truth so that the fatwa council won't chase him or to avoid a black resume prior to being the next Prime Minister.
I must admire Najib for his 'transparency' trick. He simply said "No, I don't know her at all. Never heard of her. Never seen her before." But i don't care. It doesn't matter to me. And i am not accusing him. But his cover-up is so perfect that it is like saying that he is wearing an underwear while he is not because you cannot demand him to pull down his pants to show whether he is wearing it or not, or he is wearing something else.
When i touch about fatwa, newspapers saying that the fa(r)twa council is expected to anounce a ruling to ban Yoga among Muslims in Malaysia by Friday. Thay said that Yoga requires Practitioners to 'chant' something and it might deviate from Muslim teachings. I wonder what Yoga class that they attend to?
Maybe they went to the wrong 'Yoga' class. Maybe they mistaken the sex spa class as a Yoga class and sex spa class always chant 'Ah~~~ ah~~~ ah~~~'. That chant is very near to the word Allah so they have to ban the 'Yoga'. But since the chant 'Ah~~ ah~~ ah~~' is so close to the word Allah, why not just encourage Muslims to practice Yoga? It gets them closer to their beloved God. Why ban it?
The fa(r)twa council is trying to make some havock. They say Yoga deviates from Muslim teachings is like saying their fathers, after 50 years of caring them, is trying to commit sodomy to them because their fathers are too close to them. I mean, Yoga is good. Nobody chant anything when practicing Yoga. All they did was strecthing and discovering their own body and mind for more than 5000 years. They should re-organise another trip to a proper Yoga class and this time let me show them the difference between a brothel and a Yoga class.
Yoga has been existed for more than 5000 years. People around the world, regardless of race and religion, practice it at their own free will. It does good to the body and mind and never hamrs the spirits of practitioners. The fa(r)twa council branding Yoga as fatwa is like saying that football is also fatwa and qigong is also fatwa.
As what Datuk Wan Mohamad Shei(t)kh Abdul Aziz said about Yoga that 'When those involved take them as 'trends', such cultures can lead to a 'serious crime' according to syariah law and this can destroy the family institution'. He is categorizing Yoga as harmful in the syariah law. Gee..... When will he say Mat Rempit is harmful while Yoga and qigong is great? (What a wonder.....)
Based on the 'Transparency' policy, this girl in the picture is actually naked. She has a very black breasts and chest and stick a sticker between her breasts. Therefore, the Fa(r)twa Council conclude that she commited fa(r)twa for having black breasts and chest. She also commited another fa(r)twa because she stick a sticker on her chest.....
Pathetic.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Jalan Alor, Jalan Kejora; Mr. You, Mr. Face
A recent news that some bloody-lazy-nothing-better-to-do political figure recommends that Jalan Alor to be changed into Jalan Kejora.
For decades, Jalan Alor is known as Jalan Alor and it is a very popular tourists spot. The moment you mention Jalan Alor, you think about the food there. It is a popular tourist attraction because of the food. So naturally foreigners will know it as Jalan Alor.
But this bloody-lazy-nothing-better-to-do political figure wanted to change the name.
The reason why he changed the name was because the nearby streets were named after planets. There is Jalan Bukit Bintang (Star Hill Walk) and Jalan Bulan (Moon Walk - courtesy of Micheal Jackson). So he wanted Jalan Alor to rhyme like the planets, Jalan Kejora (Venus Walk).
This is a bit of bullshit. It sounds like Mr. Fuck has a son and he named him Mr. You. 50 years later he wanted to change his son's name to Mr. Face so that it could rhyme better together................
So lame.......At least the bloody-lazy-nothing-better-to-do political figure should rename the street using my name in honor to the smartest man on the flat surface of the earth. Wait, i don't think he knows my name. He's too applestupid to know it.......Gaaa!!!
For decades, Jalan Alor is known as Jalan Alor and it is a very popular tourists spot. The moment you mention Jalan Alor, you think about the food there. It is a popular tourist attraction because of the food. So naturally foreigners will know it as Jalan Alor.
But this bloody-lazy-nothing-better-to-do political figure wanted to change the name.
The reason why he changed the name was because the nearby streets were named after planets. There is Jalan Bukit Bintang (Star Hill Walk) and Jalan Bulan (Moon Walk - courtesy of Micheal Jackson). So he wanted Jalan Alor to rhyme like the planets, Jalan Kejora (Venus Walk).
This is a bit of bullshit. It sounds like Mr. Fuck has a son and he named him Mr. You. 50 years later he wanted to change his son's name to Mr. Face so that it could rhyme better together................
So lame.......At least the bloody-lazy-nothing-better-to-do political figure should rename the street using my name in honor to the smartest man on the flat surface of the earth. Wait, i don't think he knows my name. He's too applestupid to know it.......Gaaa!!!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Brain Overview
Our brain overview...
This is ME.
This is YOU.
This is the second smartest person on the flat surface of the earth.
This is ME.
This is YOU.
This is the second smartest person on the flat surface of the earth.I'm the smartest person on the FLAT surface of the earth!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Count To Zero
Two rocket scientists are about to initiate a rocket experiment by launching a rocket.
A: The rocket is ready to be tested.
B: Okay, I'll start counting. One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Eight... Nine.... Ten.... Eleven... Twelve... (and counting)...
A: Hey, when are you gonna launch?
B: Until i reach zero.... Thirteen... Fourteen... Fifteen... Sixteen... Seveteen... Eighteen....... (and counting)
A: The rocket is ready to be tested.
B: Okay, I'll start counting. One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Eight... Nine.... Ten.... Eleven... Twelve... (and counting)...
A: Hey, when are you gonna launch?
B: Until i reach zero.... Thirteen... Fourteen... Fifteen... Sixteen... Seveteen... Eighteen....... (and counting)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Replacement F Word
People find it vulgar to say the word Fuck, though it is the most beautiful word in English language. It can be used as a Verb in way of Transitive: John fucked Mary, as well as intransitive: Mary was fucked by John.
It can also be used as an adjective: Mary is fucking beautiful. It maybe used as a noun: Mary the fine fuck. On top of that, it can be used in vitually any situation such as:
Surprise: Fuck! You scared me!
Innovation: Get me a bigger fucking hammer.
Insult: Fuck face.
Directive: Fuck off.
Heated conversation: Fuck you!
Request: Please fuck me.
and can also be used as a term for sex: Sexual Fuck.
As you read, you can't help but to feel a little uneasy everytime you come across the word Fuck. i recommend that people should use the replacement of the word fuck.
In scientific terms, when a male initiate sex with a female (or the same sex), the action is termed INTERCOURSE. This is where the word Fuck originated from and expanded its use. Therefore, in order to feel less vulgar, we should start using the word INTERCOURSE. Read the following for examples:
Verb in way of Transitive: John intercourse Mary, as well as intransitive: Mary was intercoursed by John.
It can also be used as an adjective: Mary is intercoursingly beautiful. It maybe used as a noun: Mary the fine intercourse. On top of that, it can be used in vitually any situation such as:
Surprise: INTERCOURSE! You scared me!
Innovation: Get me a bigger intercoursing hammer.
Insult: Intercourse face.
Directive: Intercourse off.
Heated conversation: Intercourse you!
Request: Please intercourse me.
and can also be used as a scientific term for sex: Sexual Intercourse.
Obviously, you don't feel uneasy or find it vulgar. Therefore it is better to use the word Intercourse rather than Fuck. Please be civilized. Our children will follow the footsteps of the grown ups.
This is a moral message from the smartest man in the world, the person who is smarter than an apple, which is me myself.
It can also be used as an adjective: Mary is fucking beautiful. It maybe used as a noun: Mary the fine fuck. On top of that, it can be used in vitually any situation such as:
Surprise: Fuck! You scared me!
Innovation: Get me a bigger fucking hammer.
Insult: Fuck face.
Directive: Fuck off.
Heated conversation: Fuck you!
Request: Please fuck me.
and can also be used as a term for sex: Sexual Fuck.
As you read, you can't help but to feel a little uneasy everytime you come across the word Fuck. i recommend that people should use the replacement of the word fuck.
In scientific terms, when a male initiate sex with a female (or the same sex), the action is termed INTERCOURSE. This is where the word Fuck originated from and expanded its use. Therefore, in order to feel less vulgar, we should start using the word INTERCOURSE. Read the following for examples:
Verb in way of Transitive: John intercourse Mary, as well as intransitive: Mary was intercoursed by John.
It can also be used as an adjective: Mary is intercoursingly beautiful. It maybe used as a noun: Mary the fine intercourse. On top of that, it can be used in vitually any situation such as:
Surprise: INTERCOURSE! You scared me!
Innovation: Get me a bigger intercoursing hammer.
Insult: Intercourse face.
Directive: Intercourse off.
Heated conversation: Intercourse you!
Request: Please intercourse me.
and can also be used as a scientific term for sex: Sexual Intercourse.
Obviously, you don't feel uneasy or find it vulgar. Therefore it is better to use the word Intercourse rather than Fuck. Please be civilized. Our children will follow the footsteps of the grown ups.
This is a moral message from the smartest man in the world, the person who is smarter than an apple, which is me myself.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Defiant Illusion
There are many ways to make you feel better in situations when they are bad. One of the ways is the defiant illusion. It means that you defy reality and prefer to see things through your own illusions that make you feel better.
This is a very good psychology boost that increases your mood and encourages you to work more and harder to get what you want.
Let's give an example:
Once i went to Low Yat Plaza. I don't know why are there too many cars which makes things hard to get a parking. It's a weekday and people should be working during the evening or go home and look for their wives. It was really hard to get a parking space.
I was frustrated round after round, too frustrated until i feel like wanna shout at all the people outside of my car and tell them that they are idiots and they should reserve a parking space for the smartest man in the world, because i am smarter than an apple.
However, i prefer to stay low profile. I want to avoid unwanted attention because there are many jealous people that would figure out some evil plans to eliminate me. But i was so frustrated about the unavailable parking that i want to vent it.
So, i decided to give myself an illusion.
As i drove, i tell myself, "This is just an illusio. There are so many cars occupying parking spaces are merely an illusion. Wan kok lei ge jie (cantonese). All the parking spaces are empty. So just park in any of the spaces. If i happen to spot a crash or a wreck, it is also MERELY an ILLUSION. My car have no damage in reality. The wreck is just an illusion.@
Then, I found a parking space. I was so glad that i finally found one. So i just park my car and get on with my hunt for PC hardware.........
This is a very good psychology boost that increases your mood and encourages you to work more and harder to get what you want.
Let's give an example:
Once i went to Low Yat Plaza. I don't know why are there too many cars which makes things hard to get a parking. It's a weekday and people should be working during the evening or go home and look for their wives. It was really hard to get a parking space.
I was frustrated round after round, too frustrated until i feel like wanna shout at all the people outside of my car and tell them that they are idiots and they should reserve a parking space for the smartest man in the world, because i am smarter than an apple.
However, i prefer to stay low profile. I want to avoid unwanted attention because there are many jealous people that would figure out some evil plans to eliminate me. But i was so frustrated about the unavailable parking that i want to vent it.
So, i decided to give myself an illusion.
As i drove, i tell myself, "This is just an illusio. There are so many cars occupying parking spaces are merely an illusion. Wan kok lei ge jie (cantonese). All the parking spaces are empty. So just park in any of the spaces. If i happen to spot a crash or a wreck, it is also MERELY an ILLUSION. My car have no damage in reality. The wreck is just an illusion.@
Then, I found a parking space. I was so glad that i finally found one. So i just park my car and get on with my hunt for PC hardware.........
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Right Words For The Situations
As the smartest man in the world, I will talk about using the right phrase in the right situation to gain advantages.
People today should learn the talking skills. We witnessed how good talkers like me could make an impact or make an impression even though i am merely saying the same or a normal phrase. These normal words somehow could make a large impact given that you use it in the right situation.
Let me give you an example. Imagine two guys and a girl vying for a piece of chocolate.
Girl: Boy A, give me that piece of chocolate. You should be a gentleman to girls okay.
Boy A: I won't give the only piece to anyone. Not even to you or to Boy B. I don't care.
Girl: oh please please please~~~~~ I really that piece of chocolate. Please~~~~(kneeling)
Boy A: Okay. But u must so something in order to get the chcolate.
Girl: Okay. I will do anything to get that piece of chocolate.
Boy A: You must give me a blowjob if you want this piece of chocolate. (pull down his pants)
Girl: erm....okay....but u must promise me to give me the chocolate.
Boy A: I promise...just suck my dick....
Girl: (sucks Boy A's dick)
Boy A: (after ejaculation) ahh~~~ yeah~~~ Good girl. Now you can have the only piece of chocolate.
Girl: Horray~~~ But i feel horny right now. I want to suck a dick again. It's just so kinky and yummy...
Boy B: (sensing an advantage) Okay....I let you suck my dick...
Girl: oh yeah...thanks boy B. I wanna taste your dick....Give it to me....Let me do it on you. I'm getting horny.....
Boy B: Not yet...you have to give me the piece of chocolate, then i'll let you suck my dick. Its a fair trade.
Girl: Okay....no problem (hands Boy B the chocolate and sucks Boy B's dick)
See. This is how the same, normal phrase being used in different situations to gain the appropriate advantage. Boy A gave away his chocolate and got a blowjob, which is a little rewarding. However when you look at Boy B, he not only gain the piece of chocolate, he even got a blowjob. Double gain.
So this is how you should talk. Speak the right words at the right time in the right place. It will make a big impact on people and may probably give you advantages
People today should learn the talking skills. We witnessed how good talkers like me could make an impact or make an impression even though i am merely saying the same or a normal phrase. These normal words somehow could make a large impact given that you use it in the right situation.
Let me give you an example. Imagine two guys and a girl vying for a piece of chocolate.
Girl: Boy A, give me that piece of chocolate. You should be a gentleman to girls okay.
Boy A: I won't give the only piece to anyone. Not even to you or to Boy B. I don't care.
Girl: oh please please please~~~~~ I really that piece of chocolate. Please~~~~(kneeling)
Boy A: Okay. But u must so something in order to get the chcolate.
Girl: Okay. I will do anything to get that piece of chocolate.
Boy A: You must give me a blowjob if you want this piece of chocolate. (pull down his pants)
Girl: erm....okay....but u must promise me to give me the chocolate.
Boy A: I promise...just suck my dick....
Girl: (sucks Boy A's dick)
Boy A: (after ejaculation) ahh~~~ yeah~~~ Good girl. Now you can have the only piece of chocolate.
Girl: Horray~~~ But i feel horny right now. I want to suck a dick again. It's just so kinky and yummy...
Boy B: (sensing an advantage) Okay....I let you suck my dick...
Girl: oh yeah...thanks boy B. I wanna taste your dick....Give it to me....Let me do it on you. I'm getting horny.....
Boy B: Not yet...you have to give me the piece of chocolate, then i'll let you suck my dick. Its a fair trade.
Girl: Okay....no problem (hands Boy B the chocolate and sucks Boy B's dick)
See. This is how the same, normal phrase being used in different situations to gain the appropriate advantage. Boy A gave away his chocolate and got a blowjob, which is a little rewarding. However when you look at Boy B, he not only gain the piece of chocolate, he even got a blowjob. Double gain.
So this is how you should talk. Speak the right words at the right time in the right place. It will make a big impact on people and may probably give you advantages
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Pikachu's Super-Villain
Okay, let's look at superheroes and super-villains. The most succesful hero is when it has a super-villain.
For example, Prof. Xavier (X-men) has a super-villain called magneto. Batman's super-villain is The Joker whereas Spiderman's super-villains are the Green Goblin, Venom and Dr. Octopus. Even the Superman has a super-villain, Doomsday, who ultimately killed him once.
These are the kind of superhero series that are ultimately succesful and lasted for generations. However, there is this recent cartoon thing called the Pokemon. It was highly succesful among kids with the song theme lyrics 'you teach me and i teach you...Pokemon~~~~'....yea right. It doesn't even teach the kids proper respect to animal rights by repeating 'gotta catch 'em all...' Animals, even pokemons, deserve basic animal rights. They can choose to say NO....just like humans. We practice basic human rights....by saying NO....
The main pokemon throughout the series is the yellow thing called Pikachiu or pikachu or watever the spelling is i don't care. I'm simply too smart to even bother spelling it right.
This Pikachu thing doesn't really have a super-villian to ultimately counter it. So i design and wrote a new super-villain to ultimately kill it or even severely affect it. I designed that ultimate character and sent it to the Pikachu creators for consideration.
What's the super-villian? I'll tell you. Imagine, everytime Ash throws the ball-thing and shouted "GO PIKACHU!!!" and pops out a Pikachu. When it is my turn to compete with it, i will throw the ball thing and yell louder:"
"GO~~~~~~~ PIKA-FUCKER-CHU~~~~~~~~~!!!!!"
THAT will be the perfect ultimate supervillain of all Pokemon series to ultimately destroy the 'heroic' yellow shitless thing.
During the duel, when Pikachu strikes a lightning bolt to Pika-FUCKER-chu, my supervillain will absorb the energy and enlarges its dick. So no matter how many times the Pikachu strikes the lightning, it will only make my supervillain stronger in its weapon, THE DICK.
When Pika-FUCKER-chu gets its dick big enough, it will make the final and the ultimate BACKLASH. It will sprint forward like lightning and strikes hard into the pussy or anus of Pikachu (depending on its gender), rendering Pikachu to be powerless and horny. The loud and brave sounding of the Pika language will change into a horny sound of "Pi~~ka~~~". At this very moment, Pikachu is psychologically destryoed and resort to SELF-DESTRUCTION. It may make itself into sexual maniac, morally degraded, or even suicidal due to the fact that its being raped.
The reason why i design my ULTIMATE supervillain in such a way is because besides teaching kids on robbing away basic animal rights (gotta catch 'em all slogan), my Pika-FUCKER-chu will also teach and show imprtant information about sexual education. It will increase the awareness of sex.
Besides, Pika-FUCKER-chu will tell the adverse effects of rape and unprotected sex. Through this method, very young kids will begin to understand the adverse negative impact of rape and also the dangers of unprotected sex. This way will help curb pre-marital sex, unwanted pregnancy, STDs as well as rape cases.
You see, this is a perfect super-villain for the Pokemon series. It will even spread its popularity towards the grown-ups because it could serve mild erotica. This results in increase in TV viewers of the series. This is simply perfect.
Here, i have showed my intelligence. I AM THE SMARTEST PERSON ON THE FLAT SURFACE OF THE EARTH. No questions ask. Undoubtfully correct and ultimately accurate fact. Even apples cannot come close to my level of intelligence. This earth needs more humans as smart as me....
For example, Prof. Xavier (X-men) has a super-villain called magneto. Batman's super-villain is The Joker whereas Spiderman's super-villains are the Green Goblin, Venom and Dr. Octopus. Even the Superman has a super-villain, Doomsday, who ultimately killed him once.
These are the kind of superhero series that are ultimately succesful and lasted for generations. However, there is this recent cartoon thing called the Pokemon. It was highly succesful among kids with the song theme lyrics 'you teach me and i teach you...Pokemon~~~~'....yea right. It doesn't even teach the kids proper respect to animal rights by repeating 'gotta catch 'em all...' Animals, even pokemons, deserve basic animal rights. They can choose to say NO....just like humans. We practice basic human rights....by saying NO....
The main pokemon throughout the series is the yellow thing called Pikachiu or pikachu or watever the spelling is i don't care. I'm simply too smart to even bother spelling it right.
This Pikachu thing doesn't really have a super-villian to ultimately counter it. So i design and wrote a new super-villain to ultimately kill it or even severely affect it. I designed that ultimate character and sent it to the Pikachu creators for consideration.
What's the super-villian? I'll tell you. Imagine, everytime Ash throws the ball-thing and shouted "GO PIKACHU!!!" and pops out a Pikachu. When it is my turn to compete with it, i will throw the ball thing and yell louder:"
"GO~~~~~~~ PIKA-FUCKER-CHU~~~~~~~~~!!!!!"
THAT will be the perfect ultimate supervillain of all Pokemon series to ultimately destroy the 'heroic' yellow shitless thing.
During the duel, when Pikachu strikes a lightning bolt to Pika-FUCKER-chu, my supervillain will absorb the energy and enlarges its dick. So no matter how many times the Pikachu strikes the lightning, it will only make my supervillain stronger in its weapon, THE DICK.
When Pika-FUCKER-chu gets its dick big enough, it will make the final and the ultimate BACKLASH. It will sprint forward like lightning and strikes hard into the pussy or anus of Pikachu (depending on its gender), rendering Pikachu to be powerless and horny. The loud and brave sounding of the Pika language will change into a horny sound of "Pi~~ka~~~". At this very moment, Pikachu is psychologically destryoed and resort to SELF-DESTRUCTION. It may make itself into sexual maniac, morally degraded, or even suicidal due to the fact that its being raped.
The reason why i design my ULTIMATE supervillain in such a way is because besides teaching kids on robbing away basic animal rights (gotta catch 'em all slogan), my Pika-FUCKER-chu will also teach and show imprtant information about sexual education. It will increase the awareness of sex.
Besides, Pika-FUCKER-chu will tell the adverse effects of rape and unprotected sex. Through this method, very young kids will begin to understand the adverse negative impact of rape and also the dangers of unprotected sex. This way will help curb pre-marital sex, unwanted pregnancy, STDs as well as rape cases.
You see, this is a perfect super-villain for the Pokemon series. It will even spread its popularity towards the grown-ups because it could serve mild erotica. This results in increase in TV viewers of the series. This is simply perfect.
Here, i have showed my intelligence. I AM THE SMARTEST PERSON ON THE FLAT SURFACE OF THE EARTH. No questions ask. Undoubtfully correct and ultimately accurate fact. Even apples cannot come close to my level of intelligence. This earth needs more humans as smart as me....
Friday, September 26, 2008
My Intro, as I'm smart enough to write one
Hey there all. Guess what?
C'mon just guess.
What? You can't guess???
Well, that just concluded you are an idiot. Because you can't guess a guess-what.
Guess what, "I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth".
Nice huh? If you can't even guess that I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth, you're a failure.
Repeat after me, say it, "I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth". Good.
Nonono, you don't say "YOU'RE the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth", you should say "I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth". Idiot.
My name? OMG you don't know?? I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth, you should know what!! OMG how stupid you are.
I'm not gonna tell you you idiot. My name is too smart for you to know.
Anyway, as I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth, I did great stuffs. Like walking. From my chair to the refrigerator. Clever right? I know, as I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth.
Being the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth, is not an easy job. I have to deal with my smart brain all the time, and deal with alot of idiots.
I'll tell you more about what happen to me, the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth.
C'mon just guess.
What? You can't guess???
Well, that just concluded you are an idiot. Because you can't guess a guess-what.
Guess what, "I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth".
Nice huh? If you can't even guess that I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth, you're a failure.
Repeat after me, say it, "I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth". Good.
Nonono, you don't say "YOU'RE the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth", you should say "I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth". Idiot.
My name? OMG you don't know?? I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth, you should know what!! OMG how stupid you are.
I'm not gonna tell you you idiot. My name is too smart for you to know.
Anyway, as I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth, I did great stuffs. Like walking. From my chair to the refrigerator. Clever right? I know, as I'm the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth.
Being the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth, is not an easy job. I have to deal with my smart brain all the time, and deal with alot of idiots.
I'll tell you more about what happen to me, the most smartest human being ever born on the flat surface of the earth.
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